This Word is Better | Hatchet Primrose Worldwide, LLC

Greetings. My name is Prichard S. Wilmette and in addition to being the chief people officer at Hatchet Primrose Worldwide, LLC., I also manage this page. This Word is Better is a place where everyone on the Hatchet Primrose Worldwide team has a chance to address the inaccuracies, disagreements, and the faulty logic associated with the English language. We're brining some common sense back to a language that believes that "word" and "sword" should be pronounced completely different from one another because of the addition of one fucking letter. This is bullshit and we're calling it out.

These Words Are Better...

Wahlstrom

Stupid Old Word:

Chipmunk

Awesome New Word:

Chirpmunk

"Because these adorable little creatures 'chirp'."

Mr. Rose

Stupid Old Word:

Wahlstrom

Awesome New Word:

Loser

"His happiness is annoying."

Melony

Stupid Old Words:

Pooper Scooper

Awesome New Word:

Shitter Gitter

"I just like it better."

Axe

Stupid Old Words:

Sock

Awesome New Word:

Foot Glove

"100% a better descriptor of a sock."

Prichard

Stupid Old Words:

Your & You're

Awesome New Word:

"Two letters are just fine. We don't need nine letters."

Prichard

Stupid Old Word:

Escalator

Awesome New Word:

Calator

"These machines don't just escalate, they descalate as well."

Wahlstrom

Stupid Old Word:

Unicorn

Awesome New Word:

Unihorn

"Its only got one horn, duh!"

Prichard

Stupid Old Words:

There, Their, & They're

Awesome New Word:

Thereire

"People fuck these up anyway, so why not just make three words, one word?"

Cherrita

Stupid Old Word:

Glove

Awesome New Words:

Hand Sock

"Fuck you Axe."

Mr. Rose

Stupid Old Letter:

Awesome New Letter:

u squared

"It just fucking pisses me off that a 'u' connected to a 'u' is called a 'double u' and not 'u squared'."

Melony

Stupid Old Words:

Credit Card

Awesome New Words:

Free Money

"Thank god for bankruptsy!"

Billie

Stupid Old Words:

Hand Sanitizer

Awesome New Word:

Handasizer

"When you have a heavy german accent like I do, its easier to say."

Wahlstrom

Stupid Old Words:

Relief

Awesome New Word:

Fart

"Thereire's never been a truer change of words."

Melony

Stupid Old Words:

Your Mom

Awesome New Word:

Slut

"Its true."

Your Mom

Stupid Old Word:

You

Awesome New Word:

Disappointed

"I had such high hopes for you, my child. But you are a failure."