Most Movie Sequels Suck | This Sequel Proves That

Is it my favorite movie ever? 

I don’t think so. 

Can I watch it over, and over, and over during the months of June, July, and August? 

Yep. 

When Independence Day premiered in 1996 it was an instant hit.  The White House getting blown up, Will Smith in his prime, and Bill Pullman showcasing - arguably - the greatest movie speech of all time, redefined what a Summer Blockbuster was supposed to be. 

The movie really does have it all - explosions, laughs, an absurd plot, and even a golden retriever jumping through a door to escape certain death. 

To this day, there are still so many obscure quotes from Independence Day that I randomly interject into my daily life.  Most people have no idea what I’m fuckin’ talking about when I shout out things like “Kim, my daughter” or “look-it-all-that” or “this is not checkmate.”

From start to finish, Independence Day is a timeless popcorn movie that left room for a sequel that could have been equally as entertaining.  And almost three decades later, we finally got that sequel.  And it was fuckin’ trash. 

Will Smith couldn’t make the time to reprise his role and provide some fan service to the movie that launched him into the Hollywood stratosphere, Bill Pullman was forced by writers to attempt another encore of his bitchin’ call to arms from the original and the plot, well…”just make the aliens bigger and the spaceships bigger and we’ll garble together some crap to connect it all.”

Fuck you movie studio executive. 

Fuck your destruction of a beloved movie franchise from my childhood. 

When the first Independence Day ended, it left us a visual of an alien spacecraft crashed into a bunch of mountains.  There was ample fodder to grab ahold of and construct a sequel with all of the heart, soul, and fun of the first movie. 

Here, let me provide a synapses of what Independence Day Part II could have been:

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The mother ship has been destroyed; all that remains of the alien civilization has crashed landed on Earth.  Three dozen “city-sized” space craft taken down by a united humanity fighting for their “right to exist.”

While the war in the sky ended, the war on the ground was just beginning. 

Surviving aliens in all of the downed craft emerged and stood ready to avenge the catastrophic destruction of their civilization. 

Humanity mobilized. 

Armies from around the world united; infantry across the globe, supported by armor and artillery created quarantine zones around every downed space craft, and ruthlessly wiped out the aliens as they left the safety of their ships. 

However, the aliens of the alien craft that destroyed Washington D.C. seem different; these aliens seem more organized and more lethal.  

Humanity struggles to keep these aliens quarantined to their craft. 

Humanity sends reinforcements. 

As directed by the newly appointed Secretary of Defense - Steven Hiller - humanity sends its elite Delta Force to Washington DC to squash this emerging alien threat.

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Doesn’t this sound like a better sequel? 

Instead we got a sequel with bigger aliens, weird and completely-destroyed-in-one-fuckin’-minute orbital earth defenses, and what do you know, Dr. Okun is still alive somehow. 

He Looked pretty dead in the first film I might add. 

Sure there was one alien craft that “landed” somewhere in Africa and there were brief mentions of some ground fighting but what the fuckin’ fuck!?

lets just gloss over all those city-sized space craft that clearly didn’t vaporize on impact. 

Nope, not one pissed-off alien survivor amongst the millions of aliens aboard three dozen city-sized space craft that crashed into fucking earth is talked about, seen, or heard from. 

Stupid mutha’ fucking movie dick heads ruined the franchise with that stupid fuckin’ “resurgence” fuckin’ sequel. 

Jeff Goldblum was a treat as usual tho…I’ll give them that.