Movie Executives are Stupid

Listen, no movie franchise is perfect; with the exception of the John Wick movies - a giant fuck you if you don't agree - no other movie "universe" has come out with hit-after-hit-after-hit.  

Whilst Marvel Studios has had some cinematic brilliance in regards to the arch's of its main characters, culminating battle scenes of grandeur, and overall - well paced - storytelling, its also had some duds (I'm looking at you F4). Regardless, there really is something to the sheer magnitude of the universe that Marvel has been able to create. And also to the fan-catering interwoven plot lines that created some really cool shit - Toby, Andrew, and Tom all web-slinging together, was rather epic.  

And then we have DC. Holy fuckin' hell. Over eight decades of cannon to pull from and the DCEU is just fuckin' disgusting.  

And to be clear, Christopher Reeves and Michael Keaton-led DC movies are out of scope for this bitch session. Those movies are nostalgic masterpieces that stand on their own. And to the hell with it, Christian Bale can be in this category as well; the Christopher Nolan Dark Knight Trilogy was the gritty, realistic Batman that comic book readers had been waiting for; it was the perfect alternative to Michael Keaton's more whimsical take on Batman. 

And I believe that had the stars aligned, quite the DCEU could have been built off of Christopher Nolan's take on Batman. But nope. After Nolan's trilogy closed-out, we got a new Superman (and I'm deliberately not mentioning 2006's Superman; such suckiness with that one).  

I liked Henry Cavil's Superman god dammit. And I think there could have been something there had that Superman been sucked into Nolan's take on Batman. But instead, crap starts all over.

Okay, we got a decent Superman movie and it had set the stage for the start of the DCEU - in my opinion. Now, we're getting a new Batman. Okay, I can be okay with this; I can accept that Christian Bale has moved on.  

Now we have "Batfleck."  

While I was skeptical, I was never not a fan of Ben Affleck.  And when I found out he was going to be portraying the Frank Miller version of Batman, I was on board. And this was confirmed when I saw the first photos of Ben in costume. I got excited to see what was going to happen; how Frank Miller's Dark Knight would translate to the big screen. And, yeah there were some cringe moments - "Martha!" - but overall, I thought the DCEU was headed in the right direction.  

Intermingled amongst all of this we have a new Wonder Woman, Jason Mamoa as Aquaman - awesome casting I might add - and a Justice League movie setting up some Darkseid battle-royal-awesomeness; the Justice League movie was great; I was entertained. And I was even more entertained when the Snyder Cut came out a few years later and that cut came with some fuckin' Deathstroke too!

We got some Suicide Squad stuff and what should have been some awesome nostalgia in Wonder Woman: 1984, was just Kristen Wiig dressed as a cheetah. Didn't hate these, but didn't love them either.  

Oh and there was that Flash movie that got completely demolished by everyone. While I think it tried too hard to get into the whole multi-verse thing that Marvel was/is doing, I didn't think it was all that bad. I mean we got to see a bunch of different Supermans doing stuff, and we got to see some real bad-assery from Michael Keaton's Batman; the jumping out of the Batwing and swinging around and landing on that bad guy was pretty awesome...com'mon, you know I'm right. 

But for some fuckin' reason, some stupid fuckin' suit at some stupid fuckin' studio told that whole DCEU thing to go fuck itself.  

We got a stand-alone Joker movie. It was okay; didn't think it deserved all the praise it got.  

Henry Cavil got axed as Superman, regardless of a pretty sweet end-credits scene in Black Adam.  

We got a totally out-of-nowhere new take on Batman which was so fuckin' bad I didn't even finish the movie. Sure, Robert Pattinson is a great actor - go see Mickey 17 - its fuckin' epic - but who the fuck green-lit this emo Batman slop-fest!?

Another Joker movie - don't really need to talk about that shitshow.

And guess what? a new Superman...

So here we are, starting the fuck over.  

I'm not sure that I can get behind any new DCEU stuff at this point; some fuckin' movie executive has totally fucked it for me.

Fuck them.

And you know what really, really, really fuckin' sucks?  Peacemaker on HBO was and is one of the most entertaining takes on a comic book character that I've ever seen. But that show fits better with the Henry Cavil and Batflack universe, so I'm sure that's going bye bye too.