Some Thoughts on Television and its Bullshit

They make television shows that they hope we’ll watch, so that while we watch they can sell us things and collect our data.  And even when we like something, they will cancel it because not enough of us like that something, therefore they’re not making enough money by making us watch something that they’re being paid by someone to make us watch something that they want us to buy (fuck, I totally nailed that intro!).

Capitalism can really be a pain in the ass sometimes.

In this blog post, we’ll discuss television shows.  Nothing in particular.  Just an amalgamation of complaining about some shows that I have beef with.

First, let’s discuss the cancelling of television shows…

And I’m not talking about shows that merely ended or had a culminating series finale; there are shows that have ended that I miss, but they ended with dignity and grace - I’m okay with them being gone.  

No, I’m talking about the canceling of a show out of nowhere.  This is what pisses me off - no real satisfying conclusion or a conclusion that leaves so much more to explore; so many paths to go down - if additional seasons were approved.

Specifically, the cancellation of the two following shows was straight-up fucking bullshit:

1. Happy Endings is a rather obscure show that is only really known by those that know it. I’m not sure I’d call it a situational comedy, but it’s definitely a comedy - imagine Friends, and then imagine if Friends was actually funny - this is Happy Endings.

   
   

   The show had a great cast; which included Damon Wayan’s Jr., Elisha Cuthbert, Eliza Coupe, Zachary Knighton, Adam Pally, and Casey Wilson.  This cast had chemistry; they played off of each other with such ease and there were absolutely zero times that any one character was annoying as fuck - much unlike many of those more popular and long-lived-friend-centric television shitfests.  

   
   

   But after three seasons - gone.  Fucking gone.  Fuck you, you money hungry television executive twerps.

   
   

2. Black Summer is a Netflix show - and apparently it’s a prequel to a SyFy series called Z-Nation. But let’s be clear, Z-Nation fucking sucked; Z-Nation was another over-the-top zombie show that had stupid jokes and a plot just like every other zombie show - get somewhere, fight another group, move on.  

   
   

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   NOTE: Before we continue with Black Summer, I just want to quickly discuss my feelings about the zombie genre…I am a bit of a zombie movie and television snob - I’m very judgmental.  

   
   

   The novel World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War by Max Brooks, in my opinion, is the best piece of zombie-related literature/entertainment ever.  If not for the story in the book, but also for how the book is written - it’s a collection of interviews from people all over the world after the zombie plague had ended.  Sure the movie was okay, but it didn’t capture the non-linear storytelling of the book at all.  

   
   

   Dawn of the Dead (2004) was great as well.  There were some DVD extras at the time that added to the story and I liked that.  And for that matter, Zombieland and the sequel - it had a fuckin’ monster truck in it - are at the top of the list.  

   
   

   As you can probability tell, the “fast zombie” genre is my favorite.  But I will admit that I was a fan of the first couple seasons of The Walking Dead.  Then, like many others, it just overstayed its welcome.  But I have issues with that series regardless of whether or not I enjoyed the first few seasons.  First, I really don’t understand how “slow zombies” take over the world.  I mean fat and dumb people are fucked, but other than that, all the rest of us could just find some high-ground and some rifles and pick them off before they really got out of hand.  And second, when I look back at the series I get a little uneasy about the fact that nobody cursed in The Walking Dead - I know that it was network television, but it really just ruins the whole story for me. I know, this seems very trivial.  But, you and I both know, that the moment either one of us saw a zombie - even a slow one - “fuck” would probably be a word in at least the first one or two sentences we spoke out loud.  

   
   

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   Anyway, back to Black Summer.  It’s in a completely different world than Z-Nation - the universe in which it is supposed to live.

   
   

   Black Summer begins with people running; running from fast zombies trying to get to a military evacuation.  The direction and camera work adds to the emotional chaos that the viewer gets whilst watching it.  And while I felt a bit of work could have been done on accurately portraying the U.S. Military in the series, it was nevertheless a perfect, realistic, beginning-of-the-zombie-apocalypse television series that deserved way, way, way, more than two seasons. 

   
   

   I mean how many seasons and spin-offs are there of The Walking Dead now? 

   
   

   Fuck Netflix for cancelling Black Summer and fuck whoever is calling the shots over at The Walking Dead - that series should have been dead a fucking decade ago. 

   
   

   Oh and Jamie King is the star of Black Summer…can’t really go wrong with that actress!

   
   

Okay, so Happy Endings and Black Summer have been cancelled.  I’m over it - but still fuck those people who cancelled these shows.

Now, I want to discuss two shows that get no love; they get no love from the awards cocksuckers, and they get no love from the people that produce them because they get no press about how good they really fucking are.   

1. Apple TV’s For All Mankind - If you haven’t heard of it - now you have.  It’s not been cancelled - yet.  And it shouldn’t be.  But it should be gettin’ more fucking press then it does; more people should watch it.

   
   

   And not only for its very original story - the “space race” between the United States and the Soviet Union never ended - but also for its acting.  Holy shit, there are some goddamn masterclass fucking performances in this show.  

   
   

   I mean fuck - Joel Kinnaman is an actor?  I’m convinced that in an alternate universe he really is a badass NASA astronaut.  Really, I don’t know how else he’d be so good in this role. Micheal Dorman and Sarah Jones are awesome.  I’m not sure if the writers of the show intended the casual pun, but the “star-crossed lovers” theme between Gordo and Tracy is palpable. And if you don’t know who Wrenn Schmidt is, then off you should fuck.  The trajectory - casual pun intended - of her character and how she evolves across all of the seasons is magnificent.

   
   

   There are many more actors that deserve mention; the show should be studied at every fucking film school out there and all of the actors should get more press and accolades than they do.  

   
   

2. HBO’s The Deuce. Do you want some realism about the fucking bullshit in New York City in the 1970’s and 80’s? Watch The Deuce.  It’s got some great acting and story telling - it really does.  Maggie Gyllenhaal is in her greatest role - in my opinion - to date.  James Franco’s real acting chops are on full display (I’m applauding his acting here…don’t start with me…), and while the cast is largely made up of “HBO regulars” - lookin’ at you Jackie Aprile - and a bunch of other people that are not necessarily household names, they put forth a cast of characters that throw all kinds of emotions right into the viewer’s face.

   
   

   Really, this is one of those shows that pulls the curtain back on what Manhattan must have been like back in the day.  And, it doesn’t get enough praise as far as I’m concerned; it should have been awarded for its believable premise, the portrayal of the sex trafficking underworld, and the sorrow the viewer ends up having for many of its main characters.  

As I close out this fucking blog post, I’d like to bitch about a couple more things - very quickly - that fucking piss me off about today’s television:

• Why the fuck do I have to wait years between sessions of a show?  Stranger Things started in 2016 and just ended - ten fucking years and only five seasons?  That’s right, 120 months and only 42 fucking episodes.  Fuck that shit.  We have four seasons in a year.  I expect four seasons of a television show in one year.  If you’re not going to do that, then call them something fucking else you television people fuckheads.

  
  

• Seinfeld sucks. And if you say you like Seinfeld, then you are just a dirty fucking liar.

  
  

• If you don’t laugh out loud at any one episode of Home Improvement, you’re not a human being.  Go back to your non-funny home planet you alien turd.