The Hasty Series | A Few Quick "Fuck yous"
Welcome to the Hasty Series! This series is an every-now-and-then blog post delivering a quick "fuck you" to something that I don't like. There's no schedule for these installments; I just write these when I'm too lazy to write a more substantial blog post!
Sometimes saying "Fuck You" is just so cathartic; today I need that catharsis.
So here are a bunch of things that are fucking bullshit and need a hearty “Fuck You!”
Tolls: The kind you pay to drive on a road that your taxes have already paid for. Fuck you tolls.
Al Roker: For no particular reason. But, Every time I see the guy on TV, I just think to myself “Fuck You Al Roker.”
Aged-Toe Nails: The upkeep that toe nails require as one ages is an evolutionary fuck-up. There is very little one can do to keep them from becoming brittle, slightly yellow, and just fucking gross. Fuck You Aged-Toe Nails.
The Garden Hose: Its always a trip hazard around my house. Fuck You Garden Hose.
Rabies: You live in the shadows of our everyday lives; your vectors are among the cutest of the animal kingdom - groundhogs, raccoons, bunnies, and bats. And the only way to protect myself is to go get a series of giant shots in my belly when there’s even the slightest possibility of exposure. Fuck You Rabies.
Car Salespeople: I’ll never miss a chance to say “Fuck You” to every single one of these slime-balls that I come across. Fuck You Car Salespeople.
Politicians: These people - both right and left on the political spectrum - are the only people that I despise more than Car Salespeople. Politicians are just the worst of humanity. Fuck You Politicians.
Desktop Printers: There is not one five-star reviewed desktop printer at reasonable price on Amazon. We have fucking spaceships, lasers, and artificial intelligence, yet the technology used in desktop printers in forty fucking years old and every single one of them fucking sucks dick. Fuck You Desktop Printers.
Note: This Fuck You extends to all the manufacturers of desktop printers too.
Toilet Paper: Nothing chaps my ass more than when the toilet paper rips perpendicular to its perforations. Fuck You Toilet Paper.
Overstuffed Italian Subs: Upon the first bite, all the innards of the sub squirt out of the side of it. It’s a real pain in the ass. Fuck You Overstuffed Italian Subs.
In closing fuck you too.
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