What the Fuck Just Happened?!

Many us were there; many of us remember it well. 

Two decades ago, we sat on the couch, eyes glued, briefly reminded about how much we loved Journey, then quickly back to trying to figure out who was about to whack Tony. And wondering why Meadow was so bad at parallel parking; how did her crappy parking serve the plot right now?

Then...Tony looks up and the screen goes black. I really had thought the cable just went out; just at the moment when - the greatest TV show ever - wrapped up its story. 

But then the credits rolled. Fuck. You. David. Chase.  

Now, I can appreciate artistic expression. And Mr. Chase was completely within his rights to end his own show however the fuck he wanted.  And regardless of my feelings about how it ended, I regularly re-watch The Sopranos; its pretty much on a never-ending loop whenever I have the TV on in the background. 

But I really wanted to see Tony get whacked. And not because I disliked Tony, but because Tony always seemed to have everything figured out; he had a knack for being ten steps ahead of everyone else. Did Tony really believe the beef with New York was over? And whilst Mr. Chase has all but confirmed that Tony gets whacked, what if he didn't? What if the hitman missed and killed AJ or Carmela? With his crew decimated, does Tony go nuclear? I mean, we all saw what he did to Coco. What kind of Tony do we have if one of his kids or wife gets caught in the cross fire? 

Well. We'll never fuckin' know.

But fine. Whatever. I'm over it.

And this little preamble about how the end of The Sopranos was fuckin' bullshit was really just to give me a reason to write my own fan theory about what happened in The Sopranos' Universe after the screen went black.

Now, I'm gonna write what I think happened, then give you the reasons why I think what happened, happened.  

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It all happens at once; Meadow steps through the diner's door. 

The bell atop the door rings. 

Tony looks up. 

A man in a Members Only jacket exits the bathroom with a pistol and shoots wildly into the booth where Tony, Carmella, and AJ are seated. AJ and Carmella are struck and killed instantly. 

As the gunman continues to shoot, Tony momentarily sees the lifeless gaze and agape mouths of his wife and son before a final bullet enters his head. 

The gunman drops the pistol then runs out the door, right passed a stunned and screaming Meadow.  

Now we cut to black Mr. Chase.

A week or so later, Meadow is seated next to Sil in the hospital - Sil is not expected to regain conciseness. 

Patsy and his son Patrick are standing beside Meadow; Meadow is still mourning the loss of her entire family, however there is a stoic, gritty, aura about her. 

Paulie walks in the room, but stops dead in his tracks when Meadow looks up and locks eyes with him. 

Patsy and Patrick square their shoulders towards Paulie and remain by Meadow's side.  

With an evil grin, Patsy says "Paulie, how's New York?" Paulie's eyes widen and before he says a word, Meadow says "you get a head start Paulie." Paulie turns and quickly exits the room. 

Patsy is in pursuit, but has no intention of catching up to the now sprinting Paulie.  

A few minutes later, Paulie reaches his car in the parking garage. As he gets in the driver's seat, Walden appears from out the darkness and fires a single shot into Paulie's head.  

Patsy arrives. "No more of his double-agent bullshit. We need to reach-out to New York. Meadow wants a sit down." Patsy says to Walden.  

A few days later, Meadow is seated in a chair beside a lake in Upstate New York. Nearby, Meadow's aunt Janice Baccalieri is inside the family's cabin preparing dinner. Patsy, Patrick, and Walden are seated on the front porch.

One by one, the five New York bosses arrive with their goons. Given the high-profile media coverage of her family's murder, Meadow convinced the bosses to have a sit down far removed from the New York metropolitan area.  

As the traditional mafioso pleasantries are exchanged, everyone sits down around a table in the tiny cabin. Meadow ensures that she is the last to enter room, and is the last to sit down.  

Everyone is calm.  

While the New York bosses agreed to the sit down as a formality, they really only care about how they're going to carve up what's left in New Jersey. And in true mafioso fashion they begin the sit down by denying that anyone of them sanctioned the hit on Tony, much less his wife and son.  

There are plenty of rackets that the Soprano Family ran that New York didn't know about. And the bosses are hoping that Meadow and Patsy and Walden are naive enough to reveal these rackets.  

While making eye contact with each boss, Meadow calmly says, "to be clear, you get nothing." All the bosses and even some of their goons snicker and laugh. One boss speaks up "you're in no position to be making that statement my dear."  

At that moment, several cars arrive at the already crowded cabin. All the cars have Canadian plates. Several men brandishing pistols and shotguns surround the cabin, while some enter the room where everyone is seated.  

Janice appears from the kitchen and in the traditional condescending and smug Janice-way says "You know my late husband's father had ties in Montreal. And it turns out, that those ties, are pretty loyal to the Soprano Family. We go way back."  

The boss of the Montreal Family walks in and says "Oh you New York guys, never giving Jersey their due respect." 

The Montreal Boss continues "If the boss of the Soprano Family says 'you get nothing' then you don't get nothing."  

The New York bosses, knowing that they're outgunned look at Meadow with eyes-wide. Meadow smiles and says, "this is what I want."

Woke Up This Morning starts playing; the credits roll.  

---

Okay, cuz haters-gonna-hate, here's why I think this is a plausible, and a more satisfying ending to The Sopranos...

1. Meadow's crappy parallel parking actually served the plot and makes this make-believe ending more believable; she's the only member of The Soprano Family left. 

   
   

2. If someone is going to put a hit on Tony Soprano, then they better well make the hit happen. This is why the guy in the Members Only jacket just "sprays and prays." In hindsight, maybe he should have used a shotgun instead of a pistol. Either way, Carmela and AJ would surely have been left dead or dying.    

   
   

3. I believe that Paulie had more reason and more to gain to align himself with New York. Tony had ruled against him on a few occasions.  And while he accepted Tony's offer to skipper the Cifaretto Crew, he's not stupid. He could either continue to be under Tony's thumb, or he could chance it with New York; kick-up to New York after Tony is gone and hopefully act fairly independently in Jersey. There's nothing indicating that he's not regularly aware of where Tony is or what his schedule is. He ratted-out Ralph to Johnny Sac for the Jinny Sac joke; he'd rat-out Tony's location to any New York contact if he knew there was something more to be gained from it than Tony could give.  

   
   

4. Now Patsy. Yeah I know, on the surface, he'd seem like more of a rat than Paulie given Tony had his brother whacked. But its been demonstrated again and again that all of these mobsters readily and willingly flip when the future of their children's lives are at stake. I think Patsy's love and obligation to his son - and his son's future with Meadow - would easily be stronger than his want to avenge his brother's murder. 

   
   

5. Throughout the series you get tiny-little breadcrumbs that lead to the fact that Meadow is becoming more aligned and understanding of her father's standing in the Mafia. She sides with her family when her friends see Tony arrested; "dad is who he is and fuck them if they don't like it" (don't quote me; she says something like that). And her motivation for choosing to be a lawyer is because she "saw dad getting hauled off all those times" (again don't quote me; its something like that). There are a few other moments in the show where she says other supportive things. And while she's had her emotional moments regarding relationships, she's also demonstrated toughness. I mean she called Tony "Mr. Mob Boss" and berated Finn when he was all offended by the "mob fight" at the construction site. I think she'd be a great boss, especially with a law degree as a front. 

   
   

6. Would The Montreal Crime Family really side with The Soprano Family over the New York Families? I think there's a few points to consider here. First, regardless of The Commission, The Montreal Family - much like The Soprano Family - operates fairly independently; they have some solidarity with The Sopranos in this context. But also, consider how powerful the New York Mob is in the early 2000s; they're loosing steam and there is even more increased pressure on them all since they wacked Tony and his wife and his son. The Montreal Family has a more direct relationship and history with The Soprano Family, and more to gain by helping them to rebuild and keep them in Jersey.  If it works out, they get a bigger piece of the pie, then possibly getting nothing if they didn't choose a side or had chose aligning with the New York Families. 

   
   

7. Lastly, I like my own work here. So, I don't need to justify anything. If you don't like it, don't read this fuckin' blog.